smarty pants

ah, american politics. there’s nothing i enjoy quite like listening to a well spoken, intelligent and charismatic world leader shed some light on sometimes very complex social and political issues…

this is not one of those moments…

now many of you who know me well could tell you that yes, i’m one of those pinko commie liberals, and by that i mean i’m a ccf throwback from the canadian prairies – yes, the party that brought you universal health care in canada. seems like a no-brainer, right? wrong! i’m a bushite, baby! go W!

even though its hard for him to put together basic sentences, his plain-speak appeals to my redneck heritage. the huge tax cuts to the upper crust and exploding national deficit won’t effect me at all, so i just don’t care about em. now my kids may wind up paying for all this in the years to come but i’ll be dead and gone, so why worry, right? gw’s adminstration have gutted the epa and allowed tons of new pesticides on the market with minimal and flawed testing. hooray for the chemical companies! they need more cashflow – and nobody really cares if it kills wildlife or turns some farmers son into a mutant. how, oh mighty one who can do no wrong, do you suppose we address the issue of rising health care costs? hmmmm.. i’ve got a suggestion – how about a reality show based on seniors on medicare? a fully televised round robin fight to the death, star trek style with klingon weapons. the seniors who survive get a free flu shot! now THATS good health care and good tv. pre-emptive strike?

aww yeah, baby. nuke those suckers. even before they can think about sneering at the good old u s of a.

i’ve taken the george w bush pre-emptive approach to international politics and adopted that in my own personal life. why wait till someone becomes a threat?!? yesterday, i pushed a cute little 4 year old down the stairs. why? cause he was a spoiled brat and i needed to take care of the problem before he becomes a wily teenager, egging my house on halloween in a few years. pre-emptive. thank you george! i enjoy my freedotism i enjoy here living in the united states, but why so MUCH of it? god bless gw for helping to curb those inalienable rights, setting us straight. the patriot act ROCKS! i sure hope i’m not declared an enemy combatant though, as i’m not quite ready for a neverending stay at guantanamo. i wonder how the room service is? thats why i’m a bush man, thru and thru. despite the shifty way he became president, the loooong vacation he took as soon as he was inaugurated, the ignorance of the impending threat of terrorist attacks, the fabrication of a threat, the mobilization of an army, a glorious war, more fleecing of the american public, the erosion of america’s status internationally, big tax cuts, exporting jobs, increasing health care expenses, corporate welfare, skyrocketing deficits, more civilian deaths, a panicky public constantly threatened with orange alerts, a withering epa, and more people now in prison in america than siberia during the cold war. whew! great job george! although i’m not sure the world can handle four more years of you, your admiring public cannot wait for another term under your jack-heeled boot. (figuratively speaking of course, we all know you wear fancy italian loafers :))

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