i felt like a member of the A Team yesterday:
First, some saboteur had managed to stealthily swipe the prized possession of my ops manager, john. his red swingline stapler, ala milton from office space. the stapler was replaced by a crappy, second-rate model which had been spray painted red. john was perplexed by its disappearance and even i was surprised to find a can of red spray paint in my cubical drawer yesterday morning, which seemed to indict me as the stapler culprit.
later in the day, as word got out about the stapler, our friend gary emerged as the thief, and this is his ransom email to john: (henceforth the stapler shall be known as mr.red)
“1. No need to involve innocent bystanders… no one else needs to get hurt. 2. The sentimental value of Mr. Red has far exceeded the possibility of replacement by a $20 clone… the price is now $3,000. 3. I have taken your stapler, and therefore I know where he is. If your deductive reasoning skills were sharper, you would have already guessed his location.
Place the money in a small padded manila shipping envelope (I love to pop the little bubbles while counting my lute), and drop it off at the Post Office nearest you. Label the envelope “Charlie” with a black marker.
Once you have completed these instructions, I will tell you the exact whereabouts of Mr. Red.
Better be quick… he is running out of time and staples… we don’t want any unfortunate accidents… “
later in the day, we found out that one of our customers in maui (a donut shoppe whose name i won’t mention), had discovered that a couple of its managers had been embezzling funds – up to a thousand dollars a day.
immediately after our meeting with them, a guy on a motorcycle slammed into a car in the intersection right outside our office. the rider was layed out on the pavement and stunned. thankfully he was able to get up after a few minutes and the cops and ambulance came to the rescue. pretty exciting for a monday around our normally uneventful neck of the woods.
so, we had a robbery, an attempted framing, a ransom, embezzlement in a tropical locale, and a motorcycle accident all in one day. i told dan that i should have worn my white blazer and pastel tshirt today.